Sounding Girlier and Girlier in a Manly manner

I remember when I was a kid, I think I was in Grade 5, I was asked what do I think about having a girlfriend or courting someone. I would say it’s some kind of a delusion, I mean why would I make myself presentable and attractive for someone so that she would like me. It’s like bribing someone, a marketing business, and it feels like degrading. “Hey! Look at me I’m cute, cuddly and bubbly! Buy me!” (I hope you get my point.)

I swear to God, whatever you conceive Him to be. That’s how I think when I was about 11 – 12 years old, even before that. Then when I was in high school, I hook up with my first girlfriend. My views about courting didn’t change though. I think when she dumped me, she’s a bit irritated of the thought that I never courted her. It’s not like, I’m proud of it and spreading the word around. It’s just who I am.

I’m not sure if courting is the same with the other cultures but that’s how it plays out here in the Philippines.

Then I meet Vem. Still the same principle. I didn’t court her before we’re in a relationship status. I hope she won’t get mad after I said it, but honestly, I never did. I don’t know why that thought occur to me, maybe because of the things I observed with other people. Giving gifts, flowers and chocolates to someone you barely knew. I mean, you’re just attracted to how she or he looks, why need to spend some money for it.

"Hmmm.. interesting"

Now, I still don’t believe in one time hook up or as what they call “love at first sight”. It’s not love, I think it’s sexual in nature. It should be changed into “hornified at first sight”. It could be just pheromones or something but of course, you can’t deny the possibility of the first meet attraction that may lead to casual sex.

So how do I get around having Vem as my wife? Well, we just talked and talk is cheap. We just talked about anything we could think of. We even fought like lovers on the phone and I sometimes feel so guilty as if she’s my girlfriend or something at that time. That too happened with my ex, I tend to get so pissed then feel guilty about it as if I have some kind of a emotional obligation with her or something. Then it just hits me that I love having her around. I have this urged to take care of her when we go hiking to some remote places. Every time we parted, I got this strange feeling of loneliness that I can’t really describe. And when I see her, I just keep on smiling on weird stuffs.

"Your Sir! That would be enough!"

Okay, I know I’m sounding girlier and girlier (I’m sorry for that), so enough with those details. Then, I plan to confess how I feel for her once and for all, for her sake and mine. I don’t want to be delusional to think that she has feelings for me too. She might think of me as a friend and I don’t want abused that. So the plan is, confess, get the result and depending on the result. If she says “No”, then I would “Okay I have a great time meeting you, let’s part ways and I wished you a great life”, if she says “Yes”, then “Woah!” just kissed her right there. Good thing it leads to the second option.

So now we’re married, it was last year, January 3 (coincidentally, my ex’s birthday). She’s currently in California and I’m here in Iloilo. Until now, I’m still sticking to that kind of principle. That’s why I think, flings and casual stands won’t work for me, I think Vem thinks the same way too. I’m not saying this because I think I’m a better man, because I know I am not. As they said man are naturally polygamous. I mean, who knew, I might fall off the wagon or something. I’m too young to know for sure and I don’t want to eat my own words. I guess to know or measure a man is to know his principles and how firm he holds it. If he appear clutching it too tightly, it is fueled with pride and would eventually breakdown because of the prejudice. If he appears clutching it loose but can’t be mistaken that it’s there, it is fueled by wisdom and would never break down instead it might even transcend to a higher form.

(Woah! Saying it like a young man sitting in the old man’s bar XD)

"With Chuck Norris' permission, that is"

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