Few days ago, I was invited to this new bar set up in the corner of ISAT (that’s here in La Paz). It’s called Maggs. There’s sort of a small celebration party for the opening of this bar. So I went there, joined in with their prayers and have some food and drinks and I got to meet up some new people. Though the people I hang out with are mostly women, everything’s cool by me.
It’s just that we really can’t avoid certain topics especially if it’s about love life and how shitty their boyfriends are. Since (most of the time, another friend keeps on playing billiard) I’m the only male in the group, they asked me different kind of questions, questions they meant to asked their boyfriends. Of course it can’t be avoided, they asked me stuffs like: When their boyfriend said something like this, what does it really mean? Why some guys can’t say it straightforwardly? Why did he leave me? Is there still a chance for me to be married.. again? Though I, patiently, answered them as honest as I can (*wink) but I noticed that some questions are actually very simple. One thing I noticed about women is that, usually, they already know the answer to most of their questions but they tend to want to hear it from some outsider’s perspective to confirm it.
Anyway, that’s not actually the topic I want to go deeper into. This lady friend of mine, who invited me to that place, told me to post this certain topic that we also talked about. Though I think I already said my stand on this certain topic on some of my other posts (though I’m not sure where). She specifically said to post “Difference between Falling in Love and Falling in love with the Idea of Being in love”.
Now, where should I begin with this? I have no idea. I tried to read some other blogs related to this topic and there are some good insights I’ve read, though most of them are coming from women. That’s okay. We’ll see where will this lead to.
Honestly, I don’t want to explain what love is. For me, it’s a very complex subject. But I’ll try as much as I can to share what I observed on the effects of it. Of course, when you’re loving someone, you tend to be idealistic. Dream on stuffs for the future and how to spend it together with someone. A house, kids, dinner, a walk on the beach with a dog, all that jazz. To be honest, there’s nothing wrong with that. But most cases, people with the idea of love sees prospective partners through the lens of idealism. What happens when someone offer them a bit of smile and a brief company, ” He must be the one!”, “He understands me.”, ” He completes me.” and blah blah blah some more. Then the idealism and vision of a perfect couple explodes into a firestorm as soon as it becomes clear that the prospective partner was far from matching the idealized images. No one could ever live up to these kind of fantasies, and a relationship based on these images is bound to crash. It’s an ego trip.
No one exactly knows how things will turn up. Though advises from your peers are often reliable. But of course, when you’re already overwhelmed by your emotion and that weird “kilig” sensation, you won’t listen to anyway. Hehehe. So be careful with that pitfall.
Okay, I’m no expert to any of these stuffs. I’m just a humble pretentious blogger that maybe just trying to post something just to break down my daily post slumps. But let me share to the ladies what I think about all these stuffs. Great relationships begin with two people who are each self-confident and who come to each other with the openness to see and accept the other as a unique and wonderful person. Acceptance, sacrifices and everything should be mutual. I have met a lot of gorgeous women who are smart, funny and seems like they already have everything but I often wonder myself. Why is it I got a feeling that they’re always not like what they seem? Maybe that’s because most of them are overwhelmed by their own dreams that no matter how much they grasp what they thought is real, they’re still being drifted away. I don’t know. Whatever..
- Matters of the ♥ | Miles Apart (thinksoul25.com)
- We’re all growing up! I think…. (theworldofraven.wordpress.com)
- An Open Letter (scoundrelicious.wordpress.com)
- The One Who Changes You (thoughtcatalog.com)
- Can you fall back in love with someone? (honestgoodadvice.wordpress.com)
- Love Letters: An ex or new love? (boston.com)
- Systematically Ruining My Own Life (coffurge.wordpress.com)
- Blue (smokebear.wordpress.com)